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[devilsavocado]

[ yes, Matt can text, just remember if you text him, they're going to get read aloud by cave-Siri. ]

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[devilsavocado]

[ Matt's glad to hear that, at least. The last thing he wants is to be the a problem for Connor. Connor's only ever been kind to him since they arrived, and he was there for him despite finding out about his powers, about what he does and has probably figured out by now that Matt's head is a can of worms filled with guilt and issues.

But Matt can read every single shift in Connor's pulse, which is probably unfair. But Matt's always led with his face anyway, so he's not hiding much himself. He can tell he's caught Connor off-guard. The next part will probably catch him off-guard, too. ]

Once or twice...

[ He's liked guys, sure. Maybe even gone on a date or two at Foggy's insistence, but... ]

They never really... [ He chuckles, mirthless. He doesn't want to lie to Connor. ] I guess I should say, I got cold feet pretty quick.

[iustitiae]

[connor nods ashe listens, giving matt the space to say what he's thinking. he appreciates matt's honesty in this -- that he doesn't try to just gloss over it.]

Were you scared, or...?

[devilsavocado]

I think so.

[ It was a good while ago, before law school, even. Matt was a different man then. He's started his Daredeviling, but it was nothing like that it would turn out to be later. ]

I kind of told myself it was a phase. But it wasn't.

[iustitiae]

[connor's not exactly great with getting the bi experience, but he does his best to understand which is way more than he gave, say, aiden.]

It's hard, when you're not honest with yourself about stuff like this.

[devilsavocado]

Yeah, that sure didn't help.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not really honest with myself with a lot of things.

[ Gee, ya think, Matt? You think he's noticed? Maybe? ]

[iustitiae]

[LOL]

Well not being honest doesn't make it go away.

[devilsavocado]

I know.

[ He sighs. It's never really been the answer, even if it's the one he leans towards most. Just tell yourself it's not a problem, then confess your sins to your priest and it's all good. Yeah, that's not really an option here and it didn't really solve much back in New York, either. ]

I don't want this to go away, though. How I feel, I mean.

[iustitiae]

Can't say I'm upset to hear that.

[since, obviously, he has a bit of a vested interest in matt continuing to embrace these queer feelings]

So what do you want, then?

[it's a gentle question, where he tries to keep his voice level as to what he wants from it -- like hes genuinely curious about what matt wants]

[devilsavocado]

I want to be with you. And try... this.

[ I mean, Matt can tell Connor wants this too, that's always been an upside to his powers. But it's still complicated. Matt really doesn't think he's capable of having nice things. ]

Admittedly I'm not the best at relationships, though. Fair warning.

[ He kind of smirks, like it's a joke. But it's not. ]

[iustitiae]

Me either.

[his smile falls a little bit, because it's true. until oliver he'd never been in a relationship. not a real one. and the stuff with oliver...it wasn't always clear cut.]

[devilsavocado]

[ Ah, yeah. They're both carrying some baggage, huh... Matt's last serious relationship was with Elektra. 'Nuff said. ]

We can figure it out as we go?

[iustitiae]

That's what most people do anyway, right?

[wow is matt really agreeing to be his boyfriend incredible]

[devilsavocado]

Guess so, yeah.

[ He scoots on the couch, closer to Connor. He takes his hand in his, feeling his pulse and a million other tiny details. He wants to be sure. ]

It's not like, weird or anything, right?

[iustitiae]

[oh no he's taking his hand that's cute]

No - why would it be weird?

[devilsavocado]

Well, we're living together. I kind of feel bad that we've had this... thing going on between us for a while and I never said anything.

[ hello guilt, my name is matt murdock... ]

I should have said something sooner, Connor. I'm sorry.

[iustitiae]

These things are really complicated, it's never easy to know when to say something.

[devilsavocado]

Yeah, that's true. Still...

[ He sighs, but he squeezes his hand, smiling softly. Connor's always there for him, isn't he? ]

Thanks.

[iustitiae]

You really don't have to thank me for anything.

[what did he even do?? besides, he got a boyfriend out of this conversation so that's, like, better than thanks.]

[devilsavocado]

[ Matt would beg to differ, but okay. Keep being you, Connor. ]

Thanks for being so understanding, I mean.

[iustitiae]

That's just basic friendship skills.

[ones he has recently acquired]