devilsavocado | expiation inbox

[ Matt laughs at that, too. ]

Observant! Although you did promise me a date. [ he sighs ugh fine he will share but he will not forget he's owed dinner.

He hasn't quite finished up his beer but it's legitimately bad so he orders a scotch for both of them instead, he's going to treat himself at least a little bit if he has to tell his story. ]

But I guess I can fill in a few details. Like I said, Stick kept me from being killed by Silvermane's men that night. There was no orphanage, like in your story. If he hadn't shown up, I'd be dead.

He took care of me, trained me. [ obviously because they both have super senses although neither of them has really said it yet. ] It didn't last long. Stick was killed by the Hand.

[ he pauses here waiting to hear Matt's reaction. To see how he's following the facts. ]

Right. I still owe you.

[ Matt knocks back a long drink of his beer. A date. Haha. Yes. That was a joke, Matt's pretty sure, but if Murdock is insistent, maybe it's not? Is Murdock bisexual? This seems like it wouldn't be that weird to have in common, but it's not something Matt can articulate into words.

Hey, are you bisexual too, or are you just messing with me? seems like a question that would end disastrously for Matt. He's not gonna ask. It feels especially ridiculous when Murdock actually follows up with more of his tale.
Talk of Stick sobers him up pretty quick. ]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[ Matt's feeling toward Stick are complicated, but ultimately, Matt feels he has to say it. Stick died? That didn't happen until much later for him. And there's a question forming in his mind about Stick's training—did Murdock get the full thing? Had his Stick asked him to kill as well? Those aren't questions he wants the answer to, really, but he files them away for later.

He doesn't think he could handle the knowledge knowing that there's another him out there who kills, but... the evidence is strong. He just isn't going to deal with that right now. ]

Stick kept the Hand from finding me for a long time, it turned out. Though apparently they were really looking for Elektra. Did you meet Elektra Natchios?

[ Maybe not, if Murdock studied abroad. Which Matt is still going to believe, because it's the only timeline that makes sense to him. ]

Edited 2024-05-06 19:24 (UTC)

[ it's right there...the hand found him...he went abroad. It's literally right there and Matt refuses to piece it together. How annoying! He's done such a nice job of laying it out. ]

I think our experiences with the Hand were different.

To answer your question about schools, though, I did undergrad abroad and then came back to Empire State University for law school. I'm guessing it's the functional equivalent of the ones you mentioned.

[ We call that willful ignorance, Mr. Murdock. Matt doesn't want to put all the pieces together, even if he has them all laid out in front of him... ]

I didn't find out about them until pretty recently, so they must have been.

[ To his benefit, apparently. Even if everything with Elektra was... bad. A mess. Disastrous. Matt worries his lip thinking about it—Murdock dodged the question about Elektra, which Matt suspects might mean her fate has something in common with Matt's own.

Shit, he really doesn't want to know if Murdock was trained by the Hand instead of Elektra. If she was the one who Matt met in undergrad, and if she was the one he tried to recruit. Talking about law school seems so much easier. ]

Sounds like it.

[ He runs a hand over the bar counter, feeling every tiny indentation on the wood. He can't help it, for all that he knows that the answer will hurt: ]

And Elektra? You knew her.

[ Matt can hear how this question is eating at him. Something must have happened between them recently, then. Interesting.

He gives him another moment to feel up the bar counter and then answers: ]

Yes. I knew Elektra. But it's been a long time.

[ Matt hums. He could have said the same thing about Elektra just a year ago. He'd known her, they'd fallen into each other's orbit like binary stars, burning and breaking each other. It was a mistake, but God, what a mistake to make.

Now Elektra was dead. (Matt doesn't know the Hand can revive people.) ]

She... she showed up pretty recently for me. But it didn't last—you know how it is with her.

[ How it was. Matt takes a breath through his nose, trying to keep his thoughts away from the guilt he feels, the memories of all the things they'd done. Foggy always said Matt was like another person around her. Matt knows that's true, but he can still miss her even with all the pain she caused.

Now, here he is. All he can do is atone. But that's not why they went out drinking, is it? Matt goes for a deflection, one that steers him far away from the hand-shaped elephant in the room (that is presently obscured by Matt's manpain about Elektra.) ]

Look, I... This conversation would go a little better over a date, wouldn't it? Maybe not a good one, though. Haven't had the best track record there.

[ Matt waves his hand dismissively, trying to clear the air of all this deafening guilt (and Matt's manpain). ]

I don't think I'd want to talk about Elektra on a date with you. Though I guess maybe it's not as weird when it's a date with yourself.

[ you just don't tell your new girlfriend about your old girlfriend and boy if Matt hasn't learned that yet....he's got some growing up to do ]

[ He would never! It's just that sometimes his old girlfriends break into his apartment or they spy on his friends or... well. He's glad they talked about this now so they can never bring it up again. ]

Yeah, that's the part I'm still wrapping my head around. The milestones are pretty similar.

[ Even down to them both having "accident," which means they've both got powers. Of course the details seem to vary wildly, and Matt is ignoring the red flags like a blind man (haha.) But now that they're out of more serious territory, Matt will try to keep it that way. ]

Do you think we look anything alike?

I don't know. You seem pretty handsome. You've got a nice voice.

[ Narcissistic? Him? No. ]

So we probably do.

[ Matt laughs, surprised and only a little flustered (look, Murdock is hot too, OK). It does seem a little narcissistic, but damn. Ain't no one here to judge him but God and an alternate universe version of himself. ]

Yeah, same here.

[ It's way easier to put himself down most of the time, so he'll take it. Plus, he knows he's handsome too, there's no denying that. ]

I don't think I could pull off the aviators, though.

[ They're well past pretending they can't sense shapes, lbr. ]

Edited 2024-05-08 05:29 (UTC)

So much for that super sense of smell. Pretty sure you can't sniff out aviators.

[ he loves them so much tho -- they're reflective, or so he's told. Red lenses. Perfect, in other words. ]

[ Matt snorts, leaning on the bar with the loose stance of guy two beers in. (Just tipsy. Enough that he's talking about this at all.) ]

I can read between the lines.

[ He waves a hand, like that answers anything. They both had an "Accident" and they both encountered Stick. There's really no question. Matt might not be able to pull off aviators, and he may not be able to sense colors, but he knows himself pretty well. ]

Are they red?

[ They better be red, in other words. ]

[ Two beers and some scotch -- but Matt is used to drinking with the mob, so he's doing okay. ]

Can you read at all?

[ awful lord help him ]

But, yeah, of course they're red--reflective, too. Horribly gauche I'm sure. I got tired of people staring at my eyes.

[ Matt meanwhile is used to drinking with Foggy, who's a lightweight, though he's definitely letting himself relax a little more than he might otherwise. For all that he isn't sure he trusts Murdock, he doesn't think he's in any danger with what is essentially another version of himself. What a dummy. ]

I can read.

[ He huffs a little bit, like "of course." He's offended Murdock even has to ask. But then he raises a hand and waves his fingers a bit. ]

That's what these are for.

[ What are hands for, but reading? Though obviously Matt doesn't only mean braille. Those super senses make a whole lot of things possible. ]

Cool. [ He does smirk. There's a vindictiveness to making them obnoxious and reflective that Matt wouldn't indulge in, but he can't say he doesn't get where that desire comes from. ] Mine are dark, dark red. And round, I went with something classic. Sometimes people think I'm just pretentious, but they shut up pretty quick when they see the cane.

That's discriminatory! You can be blind and pretentious.

[ please stop him ]

[ Matt tosses his head back with a laugh. ]

You got that right.

[ Matt can't deny it, he's a little pretentious. ]

[ It's nice to hear him laugh after all that guilt. He's not sure why that's a thought that strikes him, but it does. Matt grins, happy to have drawn it out. ]

You get it.

[ Matt's grin is a mile wide. Maybe it's not so bad, meeting someone who's like you but just off—if they at least have a good sense of humor. Who better to know himself than Matt Murdock? Who else could "get it" as well as him? ]

Yeah, I think I do.

[ Maybe he does, if only a little bit. He can tell Murdock is smiling too and that's—it's nice. Matt might be a loner, but he knows he won't survive if he's alone. ]

This is nice, you know. Thanks for inviting me out.

Of course. Who better to share a drink with?

[ he grins and raises his glass, tapping it gently against Matt's own. Very precise, of course, and then he takes a drink. ]

This is nice.

[ Very precise. Not the move of your average blind man, but Matt is willing to let it slide. ]

Who better, yeah.

[ He chuckles softly. ]

Never thought I'd meet me from another universe, but I'm glad this worked out.

[ The alternative could have been having a doppelganger that tried to kill him, and that's... haha, that would never happen, right? ]

[ ha, ha, never! ]

I can only imagine that with our forces combined, we'll be unstoppable.

Yeah, could be.

[ Matt has to admit, the promise is tempting. Certainly the two of them would kill in court (haha.) ]

Might not be such a bad idea. Murdock & Murdock?

I said I'll think about it.

[ But his tone says Matt is indeed wearing him down. A Murdock specialty, really. ]

[ Matt smirks. Yeah, he can tell. He's good at that -- it worked on Foggy, too. ]

That's all I can ask for.

[ Yes....he can hear that too. He laughs and shakes his head but then puts money on the table for his tab. ]

This has been fun, Matty. Let's get together again soon. We can discuss due process.

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